Snack attack
Oct 10 -- Greyote accused of biting Parker Posey body-double on independent-film set in Wapatusset village. Police and ambulance called to scene. Minor injuries; no broken skin. Animal rights activist calls it a “misunderstanding” due to mismarked bag from local deli. (Greyote hunting for buffalo chicken upset to find tofu-tabouleh wrap.) Animal may or may not be member of pack involved in dumpster diving/police trousers incident behind bagel shop. Matter under investigation; details to follow.
Old guy gets his gourd
Oct 13 -- Crazy old guy accused of throwing gourds at cars. Two previous counts of throwing crab apples at cars. Man resisted arrest, calling the vegetables “ridiculous” and “pointless.” Police suggested he redirect his anger towards squirrels.
Mazed and confused
Oct 14 -- Woman calls to report friend missing in corn maze. Says he accompanied her family on day trip but got lost and never returned. Glenn Denver, 34, owner of Sweat Lodge Massage in Wapatusset village (no permanent residence listed), was located after a 3-hour K-9 search and returned to his friend’s barn.
- reported by Agent SS