A/C, Commuter Tunnel and Rooftop Dome Deliver Sweat-Free Lifestyle, 24/7

In a proactive response to global warming trends, the new TOD (Transit Overlay District) Lifestyle Mall is busy constructing a climate-controlled underground tunnel, connecting the mall to the nearby commuter rail station. Commuters will soon be able to walk from home to work, barely breaking a sweat.

Phase two of the construction project will bring a giant plexiglass dome to enclose the Rooftop Lifestyle Lounge. This will allow mall residents and the general public to enjoy Zumba classes, rock climbing, cocktail parties, mini triathlons, and myriad Carnival Cruise type offerings in air-conditioned comfort.

Atkins (on right) (file photo)
Mall architect and lifestyle consultant Alan Q. Atkins (distant cousin of diet guru Dr. Atkins) told the local zoning board the dome will be “bigger than the Boy in the Plastic Bubble, smaller than The Simpsons Movie.” Although he did not provide a scale model, he said it would be “tasteful—trust me.”

Air conditioning will be supplied on a sliding scale basis. The Gilded Cod condo units will have unlimited central A/C; Simply Scrod will have pay-as-you-go controls; and the affordable units in the Clam Strip will have window units in the upstairs bedrooms only.

Stay tuned for updates. For more details on the TOD Lifestyle Mall, see:

Luxury Mega-Mall Living and Hot TODdies with TODd Palin

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