leftover stuffing (TMG office refrigerator)
Sunday, Nov. 29 – Quiet weekend here at Tiny Mind Gazette offices. Lots of activity around town, but no one seems in charge. Local officials all enjoying extended naps.
Tiny Mind Gazette publisher reportedly had an accident with makeshift trebuchet while firing frozen turkeys at "running of the turkeys" event but is recovering. Staff trying to report on various happenings but unable to get straight answers regarding flying frozen turkeys, marsh fires caused by deep-fried frozen turkeys, assault and battery charges at canceled Turkey Trot road race, and persistent rumors about ghost hunters in the haunted Hardware Store.
Scrim Shaw, head of GROL (Greyote Rescue and Outreach League), keeps falling asleep in his chair after eating turkey-and-stuffing sandwiches. Meanwhile, there have been several complaints of greyotes brazenly breaking into homes and devouring Thanksgiving leftovers. "He even ate the Birds Eye creamed onions!" exclaimed one caller in disbelief. Scrim's main assistant, Glenn Denver, crashed the Tiny Town High School Class of '79 reunion on Friday night and has not been seen since. The Tiny Town animal control officer has had the weekend off.
The Tiny Mind Gazette will get to the bottom of all this and more, once the tryptophan wears off and the Starbucks kicks in. In the meantime, residents are advised to not answer the door to hairy-looking strangers, to stay alert (especially if cooking turkey curry, a greyote favorite) and lock windows at night. Better yet, residents who still have Thanksgiving leftovers are advised to throw them out. Your family (and local greyotes) will thank you.