With local temperatures approaching the 100º mark and the Middle School Spring Concert scheduled for this evening, Smallgreens Pharmacy is prepared for the worst. The Wapatusset police department received more than a few calls from disgruntled residents, who live in close proximity to the tchotchke filled, Muzak squawking, cookie-cutter chain store, complaining about the onslaught of tractor-trailer trucks delivering merchandise throughout the night.
Assistant store manager and customer-facing display inventory coordinator* Sully Rodriguez remarked: “When we learned that this year’s concert would be conducted under an H3 Alert,** we quickly sent an emergency request to HQ, requesting multiple shipments of personal fans, hand-held portable body misters, industrial-strength body spray, time-released antiperspirant, smelling salts, and extra-strength headache remedies.”
“Our pharmacy has stocked up on ACE Inhibitors, Beta Blockers and ALL forms of high blood pressure medicines.*** We have prepared for the worst!”
As a refresher, read about last year’s concert in our sister city of Winnetuxet, Wisconsin:
Record Nearly Shattered: World’s Longest School Concert
*One who stocks shelves
**Hazy, Hot, Humid
***Side effects may include: Fainting, slow or irregular heartbeat, fever and swollen ankles or feet