Although currently unconfirmed, it looks as though the same group of cyber-hackers that recently brought down two major credit card sites have taken aim at the legendary news source. As the Tiny Mind’s senior leadership staff and lead technologists (some formerly of NASA) operate under “Code Red Status,” the industry-standard site is being quickly pieced together into its proper format.
Fortunately, we were able to reach Director of Corporate Security Liam O’Liam (recently retired chief of the Wapatusset MA Police Department), who had this to say: “It appears that a small group of unsavory hackers broke into the site sometime during the early morning hours. Damages include: the removal of all transitional verbs, adjectives beginning with the letter ‘K’, and any reference to small rodents.”
O’Liam went on to say, “The most perplexing problem is the badly damaged masthead. Whoever was responsible for this crime removed the publication’s regular masthead and replaced it with a crudely built version consisting of random photographs of Weeki Wachee mermaids.”
According to sources deep within the inner-confines of the TMG, an identical version of the original masthead is stored in an underground Iron Mountain® facility, located in a former salt mine somewhere in western Pennsylvania. A retrieval team has been dispersed and should be returning within the next few hours with the replica..
Investigators are not sure of the significance of the underwater mermaid imagery but are actively seeking leads, speculation, and valuable misinformation from the public.
Please stay tuned.