These days, one never knows when an earthquake, hailstorm, hurricane, meteorite or swarm of locusts could hit your neighborhood. Now there’s a comfortable, semi-breathable, partially waterproof suit you can don any day of the year, “just in case”…
Vonco XTreme Dizaster® Suit and Armor
add-on Hurricane Windshield /Visor/ Hair Net and Earthquake Shock-Absorber Platform Shoes sold separately
Zip-up All-Weather Parachute Suit
- Manufactured in China from cheap rain ponchos discarded at sporting events, used fire blankets and an unknown adhesive.
- Product comes with handy food storage pouch and a six-week supply of Pillsbury Space Food Sticks.
- Style ripped off from the fashionable Famolare 4-wave heel designed of the 1970s.
- Seismic building technology developed by unpaid interns studying Internet diagrams.
Shock aborber "wave" technology able to withstand shaking amplitude of 3.1. *Remember, in a declared state of emergency, follow instructions from government officials.
In all other instances, follow TMG instead.
- by Technology, Fashion and Crime correspondent, S. Sisson