Dazed and Bedazzled
Feb 20,
Feb 22,
Curling Details to be Ironed Out at Summit Feb 24,
All the Wreaths are Brown (and the skies are gray) Feb 25 –
reported by Agent SS sallysisson.com
Dazed and Bedazzled
Feb 20,
Feb 22,
Curling Details to be Ironed Out at Summit Feb 24,
All the Wreaths are Brown (and the skies are gray) Feb 25 –
reported by Agent SS sallysisson.com
Posted by Sally Sisson on 02/26/2010 at 09:27 AM in Fashion, Games, Sports | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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He actually bought me a book of them for Christmas. They Call Me Naughty Lola is a collection of personal ads from the London Review of Books. A bit on the inside flap refers to them as “surreal haikus of the heart.” Some are absurd or self-deprecating, others a bit pervy.
The titles are an art form on their own:
Last time I had this much fun, I was on forty tablets a day.
My favourite Ben & Jerry’s is Acid-Boiled Bones of Divorce Lawyer.Here are some sample ads:
They call me naughty Lola. Run-of-the-mill bearded
physicist (M, 46).
Romance is dead. So is my mother, Man, 42, inherited
wealth. Box no. 7642.
In a certain light I look like Robert Mitchum. In a
certain light you look like Kim Novak. More usually I look like Shrek. More
usually you still look like Kim Novak. Yes, you’re very unlucky. Now pass me
the Doritos and get over it. Box no. 3917.
Hi, I’m an intelligent, attractive, cultured,
recently divorced woman in her early forties looking for a man whose maxim in
life isn’t ‘pull my finger’ or ‘smelt it, dealt it.’ Box no. 5022.
Mature gentleman (62), aged well, noble grey looks,
fit and active, sound mind and unfazed by the fickle demands of modern society
seeks…damn it, I have to pee again. Box no. 4131.
I’m a Pisces—which makes you and me a bad match, but
how about your good-looking friend? Non-commital, easily-distracted,
fly-by-night F (35). Sorry, I think I just heard my phone ring. Box no. 2541.
I am the hunter and you are my quarry. 117-year-old male Viagra bootlegger finally in the mood for a bit of young totty. Which realistically could be any one of you with working hip joints and a minimum 20% lung capacity. Box no. 3112.
TMG Personal Ads Contest!Announcing the first annual TMG Personal Ads Contest. Submit a personal ad—or two or three—from yourself, your alter ego, or a fictitious friend. We’ll have winners for categories like Most Pathetic, Most Appealing, Best Catch, Biggest Trainwreck… I don’t know, we’ll make it up as we go along.
Just write something and submit it in the Comments section below.For those of you who stumble over your words, here’s a nifty online tool to help. My Profile Writer can generate a clever headline and guide you through the writing process. Think Mad Libs for personal ads. Get to it! (Just keep it PG-13. This is TinyTown, after all.)
My Profile Writer
http://www.myprofilewriter.com/form_me.php
p.s. We'll be sharing personal ads throughout February on our Facebook fan page. If you haven't signed up yet, now's the time!
Posted by Sally Sisson on 02/03/2010 at 09:08 AM in Games, Holiday Parties, Shopping | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBack (0)
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“Greyote-mania” was the main topic of conversation on all 3 cable access (channel 29), morning shows.
On “Dewey & Dan,” the cackling pair expressed their disappointment in the shortening of the “Turkey Run.” Reductions in law enforcement and safety officers (due to the ongoing “Collar-gate” investigation and the influx of mobile news crews) rendered the event impossible to complete. Within minutes of the blast from the starter’s cannon, a pick-up truck-borne trebuchet misfired – sending a frozen turkey careening off of the roof of a Channel 6, Action News Team truck and through the window of the Ted & Steve’s convenience store. No one was hurt but the lottery ticket dispenser was rendered useless after feeling the force of a 20 lb. Butterball. Lottery officials are currently working to bring the machine back online. There has been no interruption in scratch ticket sales.
“What’s Cook’n with Berty,” featured a lengthy discussion concerning the possible high school mascot change (Skippers to Greyotes). Despite a 60%-40% TMG poll victory, recent revelations concerning the possible malicious and violent behavior of the breed have caused a pause in the pro-Greyote movement. Berty remarked, “While ‘Skippers’ may be a goofy (and slightly wimpy) mascot concept, it is quite possible that the Greyote breed suffers from some sever anger management issues and bad eating habits.” Berty went on to remark that she did not feel that this would not be a positive image for the children of our town.Speaking of kids, “The Capt’n and Mr. Briquet,” our town’s award-winning childrens’ morning show, did a comedic puppet sketch with “Mr. Turkey & Greyote Gus.” The bit concluded with a scene reminiscent of “Thelma & Louise” – where the pair drove off the road in their extended SUV into a sweet potato casserole, drizzled with melted marshmallows. The sketch also included subtle references to “Dead Man Walking,” another Susan Sarandon classic.
Posted by doug eymer on 11/23/2009 at 09:24 AM in CSI, Current Affairs, Games, Greyotes, Television | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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Posted by doug eymer on 11/16/2009 at 09:24 AM in Current Affairs, Food and Drink, Games, International Relations | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)
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• Hamilton&Burr Realtors to host weekend open house at Minot's Ledge Lighthouse. Free ferry service will be available, weather permitting.
• Art Center announces new exhibit: Dogs Playing Board Games. Wine & Kibble opening, slated for evening of December 1.• Spritzing Rock Brewery to open microbrewery/bistro above Limburger Cheese Test Kitchen in old hardware store location.
• Masseuse, new to town, seeks affordable housing 781-383-6601 If no one home, please leave massage.
Posted by doug eymer on 11/11/2009 at 03:45 PM in Current Affairs, Food and Drink, Games, Greyotes | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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