The geniuses behind the Vonko H2 “Happy Helmet” Model VH32.1 have done it again!
Do you feel tied to your air-conditioning unit?
Tired of being housebound on hot days?
Afraid to show your embarrassing sweat stains in public?
Now you can have the cooling comfort of your trusty window unit in a walking suit of armor.
The iSpa (model Z) is a liquid circulating full body-enclosing mobile cooling chamber. The wireless unit is powered by a small, (corn-produced) ethanol-burning, backpack-mounted (like a gas-powered leaf blower) engine (even smaller than the motor used in a Toyota Prius).
The hooded neoprene full-body suite is shaped similar to a beer keg (basically, you look like an unencumbered walking root beer barrel). You not only stay cool, the iSpa allows normal human interaction, thanks to a sophisticated stereophonic audio system and a non-fogging helmet lens. Concerned about backing into something? Fear not, the updated Model X has state-of-the-art electronic back-up sensors, built right in.
Vonko admits that there was a slight problem with earlier models. There was the whole leaking (actually spraying*) issue and the dispersed odor that to some, smelled like a Cineplex concession stand.
The KwikKool iSpa Model Z can be yours for just three payments of $19.99. Send your first payment via cash or Western Union to Vonko c/o Tiny Mind Gazette. Don’t delay!
*picture a 6’ tall, inner-city fire hydrant on a scorching city street, that has been opened up as a sprinkler.