10 Horrific Stories That The Tiny Mind Gazette Refuses To Cover
10. German exchange student has been secretly living in Television
Series section of Wapatusset video store for past three weeks, studying accents
of Thurston Howell the Third. His disappearance was a simple miscommunication
due to confusing accent.
9. “Blue + Yellow” is the new “Green”.
8. Yoga purists remain adamant about the raising of Lycra in
non-cage-free environments and are organizing planned Spandex boycott. Ghandi
Brand® white, 100% organic cotton swaddling cloths become exercise outfit of
7. Disgruntled organic farmer seen guzzling a Diet Coke® and
munching on Cheez-It® Crackers, while driving Hummer® with faulty exhaust
6. Youth baseball coach admits: “If it weren’t for my dedication
to the sport, my uncoordinated, 10 year-old would be riding the pine for the
entire (30 games in 37 days) travel season just like every other uncoordinated
10 year-old on my team.”
5. Limes are garnish of choice for summer cocktail season.
Olive use increases during autumn and winter months, experts say.
4. Domestic violence and dangerous gunplay increases within
homes where home schooling is education option of choice.
3. The Deadliest Intersection: demented highway expert sees
limiting traffic lights as a way of “culling the herd”.
2. Scientist fears
that regular iPhone texting may cause human mutation of hands to bird-like
talons—and has iPhone photo to prove it. “Bird Boy” to travel to schools
throughout state to tell his harrowing tale.
1. Thanks to clever document reimaging, body waxing, and facial
hair electrolysis, 24 year-old, second baseman is able to successfully join 10
year-old team, forcing coach’s son to sit on the bench throughout entire