I just discovered my husband has been secretly TiVoing "Glee." Does this mean he's gay?
- Concerned Wapatusset Wife
You confused me there for a minute. When you said GLEE, I thought you were referring to the cleaning spray we use to clean up the egg salad spills. Now I get it, you were referring to the TV Show.
No. Your husband is probably not gay, although he may be some sort of Metrosexual. Check between the seats of the Camry he and see if some guy-liner may have dropped out of his pocket. That is usually a clue.
Other than that, I am clueless.
I live in Michigan and have never heard of a Greyote. I thought it was something people smoked in Arizona. Or Mexico. Do I need to lock my snack cupboards and garage door in Kalamazoo?
- OM Hubbard
OM (if that's your real name, as if!):
Kalamazoo, awesome! Those are those things that you hum through and it sounds like music, right? I made one for my thesis project in high school out of a pocket comb and a Kleenex. It was so awesome. What were we talking about? Oh, Greyotes. Duh!
Here is my rule of thumb, “Wild animal let it be, hide your snacks up in a tree. You will have it for another day, just beware of birds of prey.”
Yesterday, I ordered a pound of sliced turkey – you may remember me, I was number 368. Anyway, you sliced it so thin that when I went to make my son’s sandwich for his school lunch – I was picking through turkey shreds rather than slices. How hard is it to cut deli meat assuming, of course, that meat slicing is most likely one of the top three bullet points in your job description?
I sincerely apologize for my turkey slice thickness miscalculation. Usually, by the twelfth slice, I realize that – “Houston there may be a problem!” At least I messed up on your pound of luncheon meat and not the Hubble Telescope!
Here is what I would do – take the turkey shards, put them in a bowl, add a cup or two of MiracleWhip®, add a dash of salt and a sprinkle of pepper – stir – wicked fast. Va-la! Karl’s Turkey Salad Supremo!