Save your 'Big Bag O’ Phonebooks'

A couple of weeks ago, 7 lb. plastic bags filled with phonebooks were scattered in driveways and by mailboxes, throughout Waputasset (a community of V-Mobile® Communications, Inc.). These are the same bags, when left in the driveway or by the mailbox in the rain and slush – absorb enough moisture to triple, or sometimes quadruple, their weight.

For those of you who have discovered GOOGLE – and no longer require 7-28 pounds of telephone books, please DO NOT recycle or discard.

This coming Spring, the AAAAAAcme Driving School (1-800-NO-CRASH), will be co-sponsoring the V-Mobile 100. This one-hundred mile auto race, will take place immediately following morning worship services, the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, on the makeshift track to be build around the Waputasset (a community of V-Mobile® Communications, Inc.) Town Common.

Due to the extremely narrow street width and tight turning radii, the field will be limited to 30, 7+-passenger, SUV, and cross-over vehicles. All qualified drivers must have a minimum of 5 years of experience, behind the wheel of such vehicle – as it is mandatory that drivers remain engaged in a hand-held (V-Mobile®) cell phone conversation during the entire race.

Drivers will also be encouraged to rest small dogs on their laps and lead negotiation sessions with 2-3 small children sitting unbuckled, in the rear seats –  while careening around the town’s most prestigious landmark – at speeds upwards of 85 mph.

To provide safety barriers and clear track definition, the discarded telephone books will be converted in to 8-10’ walled barriers, encompassing both the interior and exterior of the track.

For your convenience, AAAAAAcme Driving School has placed a large dumpster outside of their Plain Street, Vehicle Dispatch & Collision Center. Collection will begin immediately and continue through May 15.