News reverberating out of Waputasset Town Hall indicates that the town’s “Crazy Old Guy” has “pulled papers” – a clerical warning shot, stating that he intends to run for either: one of the two, empty Bored Selectmen seats or for a position on the town’s School Committee.
The “Crazy Old Guy’s” campaign platform has been built on the following planks:
• “Keep Waputasset as it is. The town has been good to me for 86 years and there is no need to change it.”
• “Lets not let the ‘Johnny-come-latelies’ and the ‘carpet-baggers’ turn our town into a fancy-pants community with high-falutin' ideas.”
• “Eight solid years of education will take you far enough in life. If you want more, you pay for it – and not on my dime.”
• “If the spoiled-rotten kids are too lazy to walk to school, let them pay for their bus transportation. When I was a boy, we walked everywhere – and I am a better man for it!”
• “Sports! Who needs ‘em – don’t you have cows to milk, water to carry, and ditches to dig in the backyard?With Spring elections right around the corner, according to town officials, “Crazy Old Guy” is currently running, unopposed. More details, as they develop.