As winter sets in, closets open, and nightmarish garments of woven wool (or polyester, God-forbid), emerge to wreak havoc and dispense fear – amongst the visually astute and those, of us, with refined senses of style and good taste.
Stripes, plaids, super-sized snowflake patterns and the most demeaning of all – an outwardly facing, felt and sequined-adorned, holiday scene – instantly converts the most brilliant of individuals into a fluorescent harlequin of fashion disaster, as well as a purveyor of bad taste.
Let us look only to recent history to find proof that poor sweater choice may lead to a lifetime of failure and defeat.
Please allow me to cite the following characters as points of reference:
• Charlie Brown (2-dimensional character with a sketchy background)
• Herb Tarlek (WKRP sales representative and most recently, a Saturn dealer)
• Dr. Heathcliff "Cliff" Huxtable (Brooklyn doctor, whereabouts unknown since April, 1992)
• Mister Rogers (to him, the cardigan was not a supportive friend or self-esteem builder)
Each of the above personalities, refused to heed to the natural laws of fashion and style. Each has experienced their own downward helix of disappointment and nonfulfillment of their life’s dreams.Allow me to reference great American leaders:
• Abraham Lincoln – a sweater? I think not.
• Charlton Heston – perhaps, but a dark solid color, more than likely a turtleneck.
• Marie Curie – no thanks, she preferred a lab coat or stylish black dress.
• George Washington – as if
In closing, I urge you all to pay strict attention to your winter attire. As you sort through your woolen goods please remember the phrase – “When in doubt, throw it out!”