by TMG Fashion Editor, Chaz Wilmfürke
WARNING: Content may not be suitable for adults with integrity and good taste.
A new line of festive woven poly-wear by Rudolph St. Lucifer graces the windows of “The Satin Closet,” Tiny Town’s newest high-end boutique (more commonly known around the town common as Satan’s Closet). Luckily the store is located across the tracks from Main Street and totally disappears when a speeding commuter train goes by.
Perhaps our objectivity was a bit tainted when the merchant pulled their multi-hundred dollar ad campaign from our publication and aimed it straight at our rival, The Tiny Town Wanderer. Quite frankly, taking them on, would have been a potential conflict of interest with our leading fashion advertiser, “The Frock Shoppe by Jacque.”
To totally come clean, I am working on my third chardonnay and haven’t had a morsel to eat all day. Let’s get through this quickly.
WARNING: Content may not be suitable for adults with integrity and good taste.
Perhaps our objectivity was a bit tainted when the merchant pulled their multi-hundred dollar ad campaign from our publication and aimed it straight at our rival, The Tiny Town Wanderer. Quite frankly, taking them on, would have been a potential conflict of interest with our leading fashion advertiser, “The Frock Shoppe by Jacque.”
To totally come clean, I am working on my third chardonnay and haven’t had a morsel to eat all day. Let’s get through this quickly.
Anyway, the first sample is a puffy quilted number that screams, riding crops and bugles – obviously some poor fashion designer’s twisted fantasy. To me, more dog track than Churchill Downs. Would probably look good in the pits at some disgusting NASCAR race.
Number two looks like something that Wilma would wear with Fred for a lodge semi-formal. Might also work at a jungle themed cocktail party – where the lights are really low.
The third represents either the aftermath of a geometric murder scene or a bad day at the sausage factory.
Number four – six peacocks and a leopard, trying to fight their way our of a Blendtec Blender
That’s it, I’m toast. Have a fashionable day!
